This post showcases everything awesome that you can do to destroy your chances of getting social media votes, whether it be diggs, sphinns, zooms, or stumbles. If you’re like me, you want your site to be able to hide with little or no exposure to the outside world. The first thing you’re going to want to do to destroy your chances of getting votes is to tell everyone that you’re depressed in the title. Also use bad grammar in the title, as I did. This alone will turn away at least 50% of would be voters. Follow that up by letting them know within the post how terrible your life is. Oh acting like you don’t know anything also is very effective. Then you move on to the next step: write your entire post as one huge block of text as I have done here for you. This ensures that no one can scan it to find out what it’s about. This preys on the short attention span of social media users and is 98.9% effective at keeping them from voting for you. After that, you will want to make sure to not include any graphics whatsoever. A graphic would catch their attention so that’s the last thing you want to do if you’re looking to avoid votes. If you combine one huge block of text with no graphics, you have a great combination that can’t be cracked. You will certainly scare all voters away. You will scare all voters away. You will scare all voters away. That leads me to my next point which is make sure to repeat yourself and add as much extra wording as possible. Boring voters to death with repetitive wording is extremely effective at getting them to close the browser before they finish reading. After you finish writing your post, make sure to go back through it and add as much wording as possible. Do that and you will probably get negative votes which is obviously even better than not getting positive votes. Here’s something that is way better than not getting positive votes: getting negative votes. Oh I just thought of something to avoid in your quest to never get voted for. Make sure to never and I mean never ever use bullet points or sub-headings within your posts. Using bullet points would make the document easier to scan and you want to avoid this at all costs. Using subheadings also makes it easier to scan and you want to stay away from that at all costs. Both of these things make the document easier to scan and you want to avoid that at all costs. Now to take the terribleness to a whole new level you’re going to insert something completely off topic into your post which reminds me of how much it bothers me when people that work in fast food places won’t let me pay before they make the next person’s food. Subway is great at this. My sandwich is all ready to go but wait, the person making the sandwiches has to go back and make another person’s sandwich before they will let me pay for mine. That slows me down and doesn’t speed up the other person – quite effective. See how my subway story added to the terrible awesomeness of this message? It seriously takes your anti-vote-getting methods up 10 more levels. Throw is a story about how your dog keeps running away right in the middle of the post, it seems to work like a champ. Now to finish this off with pop you’re going to wnat to make shure that you don’t run a spell check and defnintely don’t proofread. Voters care about your grammatical correctness and not giving a rats will help you to discourage voting. Discourage voting and you will also discourage sites from linking to you and this will help you to be able to hide from everyone on the internet effectively. Now since I don’t believe in my own ability to pass on the information covered thus far in the lesson I need to go back to how crucial it is that you don’t use images in the post if you want to discourage votes. Now an entirely different arena that can really boost your performance in this area is ads. Lacing your post with at least 3 Google ads will help. Take this tactic to the next level by also installing Kontera and using a couple affiliate banners. Make sure to not disrupt the huge block of text effect becaues thats one of tthe more important parts of this strategy. Now if you’re going to make this work, you’re going to have to ensure that your post doesn’t provide anything of value. Talk about personal stuff that no one knows about and never ever give advice that will be useful for people. If you want to raise it up a notch you can try being totally unoriginal because that works like a champ. Steal a popular blogger’s layout/design because social voters hate this and will probably close the browser as soon as they discover that you’re a thief and unoriginal. Now I can’t stress the following point enough. Never make anything bold. Making stuff stand out will hold people’s attention and that’s obviously a huge no-no. You want them to stare for two seconds at your huge chunk of worthless text and close their browser immediately. Oh, never underline or use italics either because the smae princiaples apply. Don’t link out to anyone and don’t provide any additional resources. This proves that you’re selfish and that you think you know everything. Giving voters resources that will be helpful to them might encourage voting so I want you to avoid that like the black plague. Don’t provide any links to similar stuff you’ve written because that might make people stick around on your site. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever use a quote at the beginning of the post. Stay away from using prominent experts as references. Making your document appear to be valid will get you way to many positive votes and not enough negative ones. Begging people to vote socially for your post can also be a great voting deterrent. Tell them that unless they vote for you your traffic is zero. Make sure it’s clear that you’re not a winner because everyone loves a winner and if they think you’re a winner you won’t be able to hide in your corner of the internet. Make sure it’s clear that you’re not a winner because everyone loves a winner and if they think you’re a winner you won’t be able to hide in your corner of the internet. Repeat yourself unnecessarily. Repeat yourself unnecessarily. Now once you have about this much written up for your post, add a bunch of ridiculous garbage to make the post as long as possible. Maybe you could take an off-topic post from and article directory and add it in. Adding useless rhetoric may be the most powerful method of all. Hopefully this post has inspired you to literary disaster and social awkwardness, I know that it’s done the trick for me.